Crohns Disease.

So it is no surprise that this post is about Crohns Disease. It has been long over due and I have thought about writing something publicly for a long time (since I started blogging). However, I feel like now is the right time to do so. I will start from the beginning. When I was 13 I got very ill, lost a lot of weight, became anaemic, sick, constantly slept and had no idea what was wrong with me. After several trips to the doctors and hospitals, staying over night for nearly a week, countless scans, blood tests and Colonoscopy (for those who have had one or know what this is, it isn’t pretty), I was finally diagnosed with Crohns Disease.
This was the start of a complete lifestyle change, obviously beginning right at the start of my teenage years I found it really hard to go out with my friends and do normal things.

What is Crohns?

Now I will attempt to explain or describe what this illness is, in the best way possible. Don’t read this if you are squeamish or will judge me because I’m not going to shy away on the facts. Firstly, we all have a large and rather complicated digestive system, and for some of us unlucky people they can become over complicated. They don’t know what triggers Crohns or why people get it but a lot of people believe it to be genetic.
So any way, it targets an area of the digestive system  most commonly the start of the large intestine, this is where your body takes the broken down food and absorbs all the nutrients it needs. When Crohns targets an area, it attacks an ‘infection’ with white blood cells, which makes the area inflamed, aggravated and sore. The white blood cells are usual helpful and target any problems in the body, but in crohns they are seen to be overactive on the digestive system and they don’t know what causes it. If you zoomed right into the bowel wall it would look like lots of fingers all moving around and these are what absorb the nutrients. When Crohns targets an area they become swollen and sore, therefore not being able to absorb the things you need. Resulting in the following: Diarrhea, weight loss, Anemia, Fatigue, loss of appetite, hair loss, blood when going to the toilet (lovely I know), vomiting and worse of all the pain. Now when treated early, Crohns can be very manageable and easy to live with. The things listed above don’t always occur, but when, like me, you get treated in the later stages it can be more severe.

Crohns Disease

Paige Joanna Crohns Disease

My Story

After 2 years on undergoing different types of medication, tests, 100’s of blood tests, trips to hospital, painkillers and days off school, I was told I may have to have an operation. I went on a liquid diet for nearly 3 months, as a last attempt to let the bowel heal itself and it didn’t work. So when I was 15 I had a much needed operation to take out the infected area of my bowel and re join it again. It was done by key hole surgery and was a massive success. After I recovered and was on my feet, I could eat again and live life as all other normal teenagers. With the exception of taking medication every day, life was a lot easier and enjoyable after a 2 year struggle.

Living and Remission

Living in remission of Crohns is fairly similar to people who are on Remission from Cancer. You start off by going to the hospital for check up’s weekly, then as you improve it turns to monthly and after 3 years of going every 6 months for a routine blood test and check up, I was off the list and free.
I loved every day, as much as I could being well and able to do all the things I wanted, you take for granted how good this feels. Obviously I would occasionally have a bad day and be really tired or have a tummy ache, but I would sleep and feel fine the next day. I don’t really drink alcohol much for the reason that when I do, it takes me days to recover from a night out and I usually vomit a lot!
About 3 years ago I had a bit of a relapse when I first started university, and was put back on steroids making my face fat, my hair got really thin and it was a pain in the arse. However, within a few months I was okay!! So I wasn’t scared and everything was fine.

The effects on others

I always feel sorry for the people around me. Countless times I say sorry because It not only affects me but it affects the mood of my family, my boyfriends I have had and obviously my amazing lovely boyfriend Chris who I am with, and my friends. Letting my friends down is probably the worst feeling of all, because a lot of the time I don’t think they understand why, or some people assume without realising they are doing it, that I am faking it. Trust me, I wish I was. It seems, when a big plan is coming up, like a day out or something, the illness comes to say hello. This has happened so many times and when I have to cancel on a friend the guilt and upset makes me feel sick and hate myself. Seeing my boyfriend speechless because he doesn’t know what to say to help me is, well I don’t even have words.

On it’s way back

Lately, Crohns has popped up again to say hello. This time in the form of several water infections that just don’t seem to want to get better. I am on my 4th course of antibiotics and hot water bottles are the only thing that help numb the pain. It has got to the point where those hospital check ups are going to start again and basically I am a bit scared because I don’t know if it’s the Crohns or something else. It is probably the loneliest and lowest points in life when this happens. I just want to say i’m so sorry to those who see my tweets and it seems like i’m so miserable. I wish I wasn’t, when I was younger I coped so much better!!
Today I have had to cancel on plans that I really wanted to do, and it hurts real bad. Keeping on top of things and do my uni work whilst travelling all across the country is tough. But enough is enough. I need to start looking after myself again, and it is so lonely I can’t even express.

Understanding…

I don’t really know the intentions of this post, I think for me to get everything off my chest. For you all to understand why I may seem like I moan a lot. For those closest to me that try to understand but just can’t. Or to my dearest friends and boyfriend who help me cope every day. without your support I think I would have given up on everything. I love all the support, and the cuddles and my piglet hot water bottle being heated up for me. I can’t express the joy it gives me.
All I know is that, I am going to get through this and be strong, but I need those around me to understand. It may seem like I am being ignorant if I don’t reply to a text or a message, but I promise I’m not it’s just hard to when all you want to do it lay in bed. I am going to keep going to university, because that means more to me than anything to get a good grade, I am sometimes to passionate i think!! Love you all, followers, friends, best friends, family and of course my Chris. Thank you for understanding, yes I will probably look at this post tomorrow and think what a total Emo I am being. but either way, at least you know a bit more about me.
I am not always this ‘dressed up’ person on my blog, who lives in a sea of rainbows and poops glitter. I am me, Paige Joanna Calvert. and I have this Disease that is a part of who I am. But I wont let it define who I am. and that is where all your support comes in.
If you want to read up more on Crohns Disease then click here.
It is an amazing charity working for Crohns and Colitis, without you there wouldn’t be these new medicines to help us get better.

Crohns Disease Paige Joanna

xxx

118 comments

  1. This was so insightful to read, I'm really glad you wrote it. I'm so sorry that you're suffering with pain again, it must be horrible to feel that way but also incredibly frustrating that you're not able to do the things that you want to do because of it. I've always been aware of Crohns Disease but have never know exactly what it is so thank you for writing this. Rest up and feel better soon lady, big love to you <3 xxx

  2. Paige, i think that you are so brave to live with a condition such as Crohns. It is such a touching, honest account and reading the symptoms they made me stomach turn :/ Like Ive said in other comments, I really enjoy reading your blog it brings me cheer on my dark days, I suffer from depression you see. I know what its like to have to struggle everyday, often with demons that you cant see. I hope that you manage to keep your chin up through things and hope that your sister gets better too 🙂 You're an inspiration and one of the few bloggers that inspired me to start up one of my own 🙂 lots of love Sian xx

    http://madamekittyroo.blogspot.co.uk

    1. Ahhhh, welling up. Kitty, you are a very sweet and kind person from what I can already tell and I hope your blog helps you as it has me. These illnesses that are invisible to those around us make it harder for people to understand. I hope life this year is better for you and thank you for wishing my sister well. she is recovering amazingly!! <3

  3. Crohns disease sounds like such a tough disease to cope with 🙁 *hug*. I have an under active thyroid so I understand the depression that comes with such lifelong illness's. But you should remember how well you have coped so far and be proud of yourself. <3.

    I am now going to follow you on twitter, if I don't already.

    xx

  4. Paige, so brave of you to post something personal like this. I had no idea what Crohns was and now I understand much more. I hope you stay strong lovely and focus on the people you have around you when you get down. Lots of Love xx

  5. As I said on Twitter, chronic illness is a bitch but you just need to take each day as it comes. I suffer from severe chronic eczema so I can relate to an extent, especially with the loneliness and being misunderstood. If you'd ever like to chat then please feel free 🙂

    Also thought I'd show you this if you've not seen it before: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ another outlet in being able to explain to people what it's like.

    thelittlejennywren.blogspot.co.uk

    xxxxx

  6. Although I don't have Chrohns disease I can really relate to this. I have IBS which has also caused several other problems as well. I spent around 6 months going to the doctors nearly every week before I was referred to the hospital, I've had blood tests, an operation and a colonoscopy so I know just how unpleasant that is! I've wanted to write about living with IBS for a long time but every time I sit down to write the post I get scared that people will judge me for what I want to write. After all diseases of the bowels aren't the most glamorous things to talk about. Although I have a really supportive boyfriend, sometimes I feel pretty lonely as unless you suffer with a similar thing you can't image the pain and worry that such a thing causes. I really admire you for writing this post and I suppose I want to say thanks for writing it too! I hope you start to feel better soon 🙂 xx

    1. IBS is in the same bracket of illness and has the same symptoms so I know how difficult it is for people who get that!!
      They aren't glamorous, but i think people need to realize that there is so many things in life that aren't. something as natural as child birth isn't pretty. Nor is cancer or any other illness, but it is a fact of life. and hopefully this post may just touch upon a few people to make them understand that it can get really tough sometimes.
      I'm glad you liked the post and feel free to tweet me at any time if you feel lonely, because I know how it feels!! <3

  7. You are such a brave and strong girlie, you'll definitely get through the worst times; you've done it before and you'll do it again. I understand it took a lot of courage to write this post which you deserve the utmost respect for. Those close to you just want to see you better and even though they don't understand, they do in their own way and are there to see you well. I hope you feel better in time lovely.. keep heating up those water bottles and napping whenever and wherever you are. Love & hugs xxx

    1. I know I can do it, i get these stages though where things seem a lot harder then perhaps they are. Thank you lovely, that does make sense and I know people only try to help in their own way. Thanks for reading and giving me love, means a lot xxxx

  8. Amazing post Paige, it's good to get it out and share it with your readers- so far you seem to have a wonderful response too.
    You're very brave to have gone through this at such a young age, you're strong and can slap anything in the face that comes at ya 😉
    It's great to understand it more, and share it with others that may be going through the same thing.
    All my love my beautiful friend xx

  9. It's a very brave thing to write a post about something so personal. It'll definitely creat more awareness and make more people understand.

    I know I can't understand the pain of Chrohn's, but I can certainly sympathise with the pain of water infections – absolutely horrible! I used to get them all the time at Uni. Remember if you're feeling more down and emotional than usual, it's probably the antibiotics as they can make you feel like that. Didn't realise it at the time, just thought I was going mental! Another tip is to take Neurofen Plus for the pain when it's really bad 🙂

    Hope you feel better soon. Lots of love xxx

  10. I didn't realise how little I know about Crohns disease, your post has really put into perspective how tough it's been for you, I hope you get well soon and get back to being your wonderful self again!
    xxx

    1. Thanks lovely, I know a lot of people sort of know of it or kind of think they know but unless you go through it it's very hard to relate but i'm glad you can read this and try to 🙂 xxxx

  11. This is a really brave post for you to write, and brought awareness of a disease a lot of people aren't aware of. I'm in awe of the way you don't live your life in the shadow of this illness and you're such a positive, lovely and radiant person that I know you'll always battle through it with the positivity you've become known for. Just know that everyone is supporting you on those down days. Big hugs and I hope you feel better very soon xxx

    1. Jeeez, can't take the amount of nice comments. you have said exactly what i'd hoped and that is positivity. thank you so much Hannah for your lovely comment. we should meet for a coffee in southampton some time x x x x

  12. Paige Joanna.. Well well well.
    I know you go through these daily battles with your health, not knowing one day to the next how your body is going to react. and i want you to know i admire you 100% for what you have been through. I know you have been through a really tough time, and without you i dont know what i would do alot of the time! All i can say is, most of the time my problems seem trivial compared to yours, and i only wish i was as strong as you. I really do admire you paige, your a wonderful friend, and i dont know what i would do if i didnt have you in my life. Love you forever my little ginger 🙂 always here for you, no matter what xxxxxx

    1. hahaha my little ginger :') Oh Jodie, you are the funniest gal in town.

      We all have different levels of coping I suppose and I am always hear for you weather you have spilt a cup of tea or your having a really bad day with home etc. I'm always here. Love you lots <3

  13. I have several people in my life who struggle with crohns and I know it's exhausting and painful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with it, and I hope you'll feel a bit better after sharing with us. I wish you the best <3 <3

  14. Thank you for writing this Paige and giving us an insite into your life. I always really appreciate it when bloggers write about the less pretty side of their life because it humanizes them and reminds me why I started blogging. I went through a similar situation to you in my early teens when I contracted Chronic Fatigue syndrome. I was bed ridden, seriously ill and dropped out of school. I didn't need an operation, but it lasted 2 years or so before I could really leave the house and I missed out on education and lost a lot of friends because of it. I hope you can get through this little hiccup!

    Ciara x
    http://www.atrickleofmeaning.com/

  15. Thank you so much for opening up and writing this, it's great hear an insight into your life. You are honestly so so inspiring and brave, I can't imagine what you have to go through. Stay strong, you're amazing! xx

  16. I think this post was a brilliant idea. Not many people know about Crohns Disease and it's good to get everything off your chest. Anybody who thinks you would make something up like this is crazy and I really hope you begin to feel better soon. Cuddle Piglet and take your time 🙂 xx

    1. Aww thanks anastasia, i am cuddling piglet as I write this 🙂 your be surprised how many people have said things like 'your just hung over' or something like that at work.. but hey ho 🙂 I know i'm not sad enought to do that! xxx

  17. Really found this post very inspiring. You look lovely in your picture wihtout makeup. I suffer from ibs and i often feel very simliar to how your discribing. Although you have been through some really hard times you sound like you have a great support network and thats so important. Keep smiling and shining x x x x

  18. This was a fantastic post! My mum's friend has Crohns and over the years she's had her ups and downs with it and a lot of people don't realise why she feels so bad because there's so little awareness.
    I really hope you're just having a temporary blip and will be feeling much better soon:)
    Wishing you all the best, Lauren x

  19. Thank you so much for posting this. You have taught me so much about a disease that I knew little about. Despite going through this you still strike me as such a strong person and I'm sure you will be able to achieve anything you want to. It's really made me think too, sometimes I turn things down for stupid reasons. But maybe I should instead embrace things and be a little more grateful. Thanks again for writing such an insightful post, it's nice learning things about the bloggers I follow. I think people often forget that behind the pretty blog appearance is a real person.

    I really hope for you to feel better soon. I know you don't really know me but if you ever want to talk someone about these things I don't mind at all.

    All the best,
    xxx

    1. I'm glad I could have taught you something and that is exactly what I wanted to do it to show people that I am a real person with a lot going on.

      thanks so much for your support, it is so lovely to know you would care for me

      Paige xxxx

  20. Paige, I'm so sorry you have this. A close friend of mine has it so I know how horrible it can be.

    You're very brave and inspirational to post this up. I'm sure it will help a lot of people who have this condition.

    Becky
    xx

  21. I hope you feel better soon. No one deserves something like this… I am glad that at least you felt ok this weekend and got to enjoy the time in London.
    Huggles and stay strong!

  22. Well done you 🙂 you're an inspiration for being brave enough to post your story, and raise awareness of a disease that people have heard of but know little about. I hope your friends that perhaps haven't understood the way you wanted them to in the past, can understand a little better after reading how you feel. You don't have anything to feel guilty for when you're too ill to go out or make a commitment, or even if you're just having a day where you don't feel like it – we all have those! I'm sure everyone will understand a lot more after reading this, and continue to support you through any times, but also be there for your happy days too. I had to have a colonoscopy last year and I am feeling your pain there – VERY unpleasant!! I hope you don't have to go through that again! And I hope you're feeling better soon xx

  23. It's really admirable to tell a bunch of internet people things like this about yourself. I struggle with opening up, too. My friend and roomate has Chron's and she handles it so well, always making a funny story out of some unpleasant hospital visit. She's really impressive, I don't think I'd be as strong as either of you! I hope you have more good days then bad, and I really commend you for sharing!

    Rachel

  24. All I can say is I hope you recover soon and that I think you are very brave in speaking publicly about it. From now on you need to stop saying sorry about not being able to go out and just say simply that is that (in the nicest way possible of course 🙂 xxx

  25. I admire you for sharing so honestly! It is not a condition I know much about but I understand that it is painful and not nice. I can totally relate to feeling guilty about letting friends down and feel that some do think I make it up. I am prone to getting really bad swollen glands/throat infections, although that is no where near as bad as Crohns but when I am ill I do need to cancel plans and miss people's birthday nights outs. I hope you feel better soon and that all goes okay at the hospital

    http://adventureswithcupcake.blogspot.co.uk/

    1. Oh hun, no comparisons because all things effect everyone in differen't ways. but I hope your friends understand that things are hard for people in different ways. Thank you for your well wishes sweetie.
      Means a lot.
      Paige xx

  26. Ohh Paige, I feel so sorry for you, I didn't know (and I don't mean this in a bad way of pitying you or anything like this). In fact I don't think this post is emo at all 😉 I think it is very very brave of you to share such a private (and very difficult) part of your life with all of us. I never would have guessed that you had Crohns Disease because you always looks so so beautiful in your pictures! I have had bad times in my life as well (even though I didn't have a disease like that) so in a way I can understand how you feel when your disease actually affects the people around you, too. I always felt very sorry as well when my boyfriend didn't know how to help me. I really admire you for being so strong I don't think I could live with a disease like that because I am so afraid of doctors, hospitals and medication. I was very touched when I read your post. You are a very beautiful girl and a true inspiration to me. I love your style, and your videos are always so funny!
    I really hope you get well very soon! Love & hugs! xxx

  27. Wow.. I don't know what to say at first..
    You're so brave!! I admire you for being so strong.. I almost cry when I read what you wrote.. We all love you! You're beautiful special girl and some disease.. if you'll think positive everything will be fine! just believe it
    you know.. magic is everywhere! 🙂 wish you gooooooood luck!! xx B.

  28. Just a note to say that you are doing the best thing by putting yourself first and taking care of yourself – truly. I know it's not easy when our bodies demand priority but the rest of our lives don't seem to have any flexibility. I have an autoimmune thyroid disease and IBS – both have drastically impacted my life, have forced me to re-evaluate the choices I make on a daily basis, to re-prioritize what is important and what must wait. It's true that most people do not understand and it isn't their fault. Unless you've personally experienced debilitating fatigue and pain, there's no way to comprehend. Regardless, you must do whatever it is that you need to do to get back into a good place. Stress and sadness often come hand in hand with illness and disease but they are the very things that can make it all worse. Although it isn't easy when you feel terrible, remember all the things you've overcome in the past and know that this too shall pass. Your body just needs a little break and that is OK.

    Wishing you rest, peace, and good health!

    All my best,

    Cheryl

  29. I can relate. When I was 17 I started fainting. At first they diagnosed me with seizures. I went 2 years with taking medication for seizures & it wasnt working. We now know I have Narcolepsy. I think going through 2 years of so called seizures made me a stringer & better person. I didnt go out with friends, and avoided going out in public for fear that I would embarace not only myself, but my family as well. But now everything is great. Loved the post. People dont realize how being sick or having a disease effects the person & their family until they have something wrong with them.
    alizarayne.blogspot.com

  30. It takes real courage to tell people about this, i have severe IBS and have struggled with food intolerances since i was on a drug which was supposed to help the rheumatoid arthritus i had been diagnosed with, this as i happens was miss diagnosed (the symptoms are very simmilar), i actually have a condition called fibromyalgia which causes me pain everyday and extreme exhaustion and excassibates my IBS and causes me to be hypersensitive (when i am having a flare up i can't even bare to be hugged 🙁 not good thankfully those episodes are not that often) but what i most relate to in your post is the guilt of how this effects other people around me. Its frustrating to be in your early twenties (im 25) and have to get your boyfreind help you into your bra or to the loo because you are to exhausted and sore to do it yourself. I am so gretful to the support of my freinds and family for withought them i would have been very stuck. Recently i did a course of mindfulness with the pain clinic i attend and it truly has helped me cope with it all, it dosent make it go away or the pain stop but it really helped me let go of frustration against the condition, i would really recomend it xxx lots of love and hugs sandra x

  31. You are such a brave lady and it is good to really get it out there.
    I didn't know much about the disease until now and I cannot even imagine how this must have been for you.
    Sending all my love your way to you for sharing this and letting others know too <3 <3 <3

  32. I'm really touched reading this. I know how disease is hard and how hard is living with this and smile around. It changes your life totally. I exactly know how is it. I'm really pround of you that you are not ashamed of your disease, because I'm of mine. And I'm envy you that you are strong to write about this such way. You are such amazing person. No matter what. I keep fingers crossed for you and I wish you as less pain as it's possible. Sad thing 🙁 it's so so so sad that YOU got this 🙁 not fair.

  33. I just found your beautiful blog, I love your style and I admire you for writing about your Crohn's Disease, you're so brave. I have it too, I was eventually diagnosed in 2005, my bowel was so infected I needed emergency surgery as it was about to burst. The Crohn's affected my small bowel, I had 5 surgeries and was in hospital for 7 months (because of other complications due to Crohn's). It's an awful disease, I do hope you're okay, stay strong 🙂 xx

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